Monday, April 20, 2009

__________There's Tennis Elbow, Jogger's Knee, and now....

I have Knitter's Wrist. Seriously.

In January of this year I learned to knit so I could teach the girls in my Girl Scout troop. I started with a hat and a scarf. Then made a half dozen more hats, a few more scarves, two pair of legwarmers, a prayer shawl and a little purse between January and April. Somewhere around March, my wrist began to hurt. I would wake up with a sharp pain just below my thumb and general stiffness in my wrist, thumb and forefinger. By breakfast I had forgotten about it - or at least, I forgot about it my lunchtime for the first couple of weeks. Each morning I assumed I had "slept on it wrong".

By the end of the month it was sore all of the time and I was taking great pains to prop up my arm at night, so I was pretty sure the problem wasn't nocturnal posturing.

I also have a severe case of procrastination. At least as far as this blog is concerned. I keep finding other things ahead of posting on my to-do list. I'm thinking a shorter to-do list may be in order.

Anyhoo - now that I've bored the censors with the nattering about my feeble wrist, I can switch the topic to our current training program for the right-wing youth in the house. Knitting may appear to be a useful way to keep idle hands busy, but this craft offers more than just a collection of unique sweaters, hats and scarves. Knitting needles are not very sharp, but when applied with a moderate ammount of force to soft body parts (eyes, groin, etc) can be used to inflict quite damaging puncture wounds. Even in the hands of a young patriot, accurate aim to these areas can go a long way toward making up for lack of strength. Further, these needles can be "hidden" in plain sight. Nothing looks less menacing than an angelic, nine-year-old girl knitting a scarf for her grandma. Never underestimate the element of surprise.

Another addition to our training program is survival camps. We have successfully disguised them as children's sleepovers or "campovers" as we like to call them. I have posted some wonderful pictures from our last training camp. To further obscure the true intent of this meeting with our youth, we served birthday cake and cupcakes. Children can learn the proper way to light a fuse from observing the lighting of birthday candles. Additionally, the children learned campfire cooking using hot dogs and marshmallows. Squirt guns were on hand so they could help manage any stray sparks from the bonfire while also improving their firearm techniques. My proudest moment was when the children, armed only with walkie-talkies and a handful of clues successfully located a box of bubble solution and bubble wands hidden deep within the woods. The scavenger hunt directions included many "double backs" - a very basic technique for keeping hidden in the woods as it creates false scent trails. Later we will teach them "Tarzan" moves which obscure the trail by moving it up and off the ground. Henry is already showing promise in this area.

No comments:

Post a Comment